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累个博客，发霉得已经找不到话说了。
还在西昌，每天温度不会超过三十摄氏度，悠闲得恍如隔世。
断断续续做梦，醒来心情舒畅。
回重庆以后也该见见师傅了。2003到2009，原来我们已经认识了六年。这六年的时光在我们身上留下过些什么呢？我永远是这么懒散，这么无所事事，而你的头发短了又长，你身边的姑娘换了又换。
我买了一只笨狗，它叫PIUPIU
我原本等着带它回来给你看。
有时候我会莫名其妙地想念你。在我的生命里，你始终扮演着一个不咸不淡的角色。我知道我需要你的时候你也许并不会应答，但看见你，我就看见六年前的自己，和你一起打闹的单纯的自己。这让人觉得非常温暖非常安心。
有你们的陪伴，我是安心的。
去年冬天带小白来见你，你笑得很开心，嘴巴里冒出白白的气。
以后的我们会去哪儿呢？
我的生命里，有一个覃有玲，有一个古金玲，有一个曾大西，有一个刘小白。
我爱你们每一个人。
啊哈。
月经完了斗可以游泳老。
我的本质还是如此粗鲁。
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人永远还是有着自己无法割舍的东西。
别来这里看。我这里不欢迎莫名其妙不相干的人。
与之相关的人很少说话，很少来这里看，也许再也不会来看这些表面上平淡不惊的语言。
所以我更加不欢迎你们。
天气变了灰蒙蒙地快要下雨了。
7月，小岛，我们来了。
我最讨厌东西的是分离，眼泪，欺骗，回忆，以及莫名其妙多出来的不相干的你们。
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本博已废，大家可以看以前写的东西，不过咧由于我以前是写给自己看的，所以所有的不同时空的东西我都在一篇里写了，因此现在你们看了以后最好不要误会，有问题的小盆友可以留言提问，另，本博音乐播放器染病毒了，但是我懒得改，各位注意电脑安全哟～ 老子博客到处是，还有百度空间，有屁眼儿接到搜萨～瓜。不要对号入座，我哩话说完老。
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凌晨惊醒，猛然忆起幼时曾经那么热爱猫咪。我为什么能感觉到你们的感情，这不是偶然。 真抱歉没有能力保护你活下去。你一定也不希望自己是这样一只小猫吧？丢丢。 给我一点时间就恢复过来。
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我还是能感觉到你，就好像你的灵魂被你分了一半给我。很温暖，不害怕。我们一起老吧我们一起死吧，不要留下你一个人，也不要留下我一个人。我要当你的妻子，不管外界承不承认，我都是要陪你一生的妻子。谢谢你包容我的坏脾气，我还是想哭。耳朵旁边还是好温暖，我也把灵魂分一半给你好吗？抱抱亲爱的。我给你生一对儿孩子吧。
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啊呀我的脸。抠抠抠，晚上不敢睡觉，怕看见鬼。
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健壮如我，居然都会一天昏倒四次。听到初恋在走廊和女朋友吵架，突然开始发宝，有点害怕你看见自己曾经喜欢过的人以后就会不爱我。
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切莫贪嗔痴。
清晨光线大好。
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我该怪哪个? -
18岁了,走走写写.慢慢写吧,反正也不知道什么时候写完,什么时候写.
魔羯....印象里真的只有一个.很帮助我的人,不过自从白院长说%$&*#$^以后...- -真是很抱歉哪...哈哈.你适合去上海,阴阳怪气的城市最适合你啦啦啦....加油吧,某人!
水瓶.....我总是莫名其妙认识一些水瓶,友谊最长久的人就是M啦:)我是第一个跟你说话的人,原来你还记得.和你总是有很开心的情绪可以持续,可以天马行空的聊啊聊.羡慕你现在的生活和你的自由.希望我们一直都自由地开心地生活.
对待水瓶,不能靠太近,像我们这样做超级开心的朋友就对啦哦也~
双鱼....去死.去死去死去死.
牡羊....让我忽略一个姓穆的人直接跳向小雪囧.认识你很开心,因为你和白院长生日是同一天又和妹妹生日只差一天的关系,总是觉得你对我来说格外亲近.你简直就是个超级美型八卦天后,你,我,彭,SIN,崩溃哥,鸡妹妹,坐在一起的感觉太开心了,好像又回到最怀念的初中时光.也许有一天我们会四散各地,但是我会永远记得这段白痴而开心的岁月,细碎而真实,温暖而明亮.我们都要加油哦:)
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大年初二,今天最开心。
去妹妹家耍，征服老可爱的小鹿犬，名字也黑乖，叫小东西
先是想去看电影，结果没开门，只好去唱歌。和我们一起的哥哥长得好像LX，于是我黑惊慌且黑兴奋哩电话穆哈板儿，喊她过来看。一起唱歌哩还有妹妹哩朋友和他女朋友，两个人斗在那里摸来摸去，我们几个真是囧啊……= =
妹妹越长越高了，很娘T，哈哈。（写到这里！突然想起！我忘记陪她买衬衫啦TAT）她喜欢的女生也叫熊猫，但是我之前不晓得所以从来没有注意看过，唉……
今天切吃火锅，我们一伙人到处乱走，走到滨江花园哩时候我突然……啊哈哈心理因素心理因素……
今年还是认亲大会，小白说，喊你妹妹喊我姐夫，我斗教她折纸玫瑰。
好嘛，喊嘛喊，回来了看你紧张不，哈哈。
快点回来我想死你老。
今年还得了黑多红包，还看见了长得黑像郑西君的陈怡容~
恩，2009年，积极面对。
P。S：最近骤然一下好讨厌美XX邦威这个牌子啊，因为LJ哩不晓得是哪前任还要往前哩那个女人哩梦想是在那里头卖衣服，而小白哩前任曾经在里头卖过衣服，唉……绝对不买那个衣服，哈哈。
今天聊了很多，都是我喜欢的人，今天满身都是火锅臭，今天很开心。
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被你从94斤喂肥到115斤的我，是怎样的心情。
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斯斯，我觉得自己好难过好难过…你长大以后有真正幸福吗？可是我真的好难过…
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越是这种时候，我越是萨子都不晓得，英语好多单词都认不到，冷个朗个考特招？真哩觉得好迷惘！
但是我不会认输的。
今天找到一份工作，给小朋友写故事，每篇三十。
我需要让自己活下去，我要做不依靠任何人的树。
好想好想和你一起晒太阳…
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十六岁的冬天她有了一个新朋友。她花很多篇幅在日记里描述着自己对她的喜爱。 她知道，不会再有人像她一样，陪她夜夜聊天直到天色发白了，她也知道，不会再有人像小猴一样花好几个小时安慰她的伤心了。 十六岁的冬天很寒冷，她们坐在江边抽烟喝酒，她对她讲她爱过的人，她对她讲她上高中以后的糗事，她们在黑暗的楼道里坐着玩手机，她给她看她喜欢的人的照片。她们说好凌晨三点出去逛街，但是都以为对方仍在睡梦中而独自趴在床上等天亮。 哈，原来你也没有睡吗？ 十六岁的冬天她告诉她，她常常胃痛，十六岁的冬天她每天偷偷看她来上学时的身影，她们曾经很要好。 她站在十八岁的初冬想一些事情，她终于肯相信，也许她们都曾经小心而热烈地爱过对方，那快乐很短暂，有两只可爱多，一顿串串香，很多鬼故事，一次轻轻地比较手掌。 她刻意遗忘了很多事，只记得她曾经拥有过一个很好很好的朋友，她们唱歌，她唱很多歌，她只会唱Eason。 她没有勇气和资格提起她，她现在过得很好，懂得了爱人爱己，但她还是很想念两年前的那个很好的朋友。 逝去的朋友。 十六岁的冬天，她告诉自己要记得十七岁的冬天提醒她多喝热水，可是现在，她已经十八岁了。 她听歌，一首老音频。那个她最爱的歌手唱，我们都学会许多说法来掩饰不碰的伤疤… 女歌手当时还是女选手，她的歌声被嘈杂的助威声卡在中间。 她笑起来，跟着那个2006年夏天的声音唱，我们都学会许多说法… 她十六岁的愿望永远无法实现了，因为她已经十八岁了，她不知道她的逝友是不是还是会胃疼。 有东西消失了，很轻微。 十七岁，她消失了一整段空白的人生。
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秘密博客的好处在于可以一直写自己想写的。嘿嘿。
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Your October Horoscope by Susan Miller
Scorpio Forecast for October 2008
By Susan Miller
Last night, in a lecture I was giving, a young pretty Scorpio woman who was about 28 raised her hand and said she was feeling frustrated because she was having trouble getting projects off the ground. She said she felt uncharacteristically frozen, unable to become motivated enough to push projects forward. She was also having problems getting needed support from partners around her. I told Miss Scorpio, as I will tell you, that the situation for Scorpio is not serious, only temporary, and certainly nothing to fret about.
The month before your birthday is always one of low energy. It's supposed to be that way, so that you slow down and think carefully about your birthday year ahead. It's a quiet, reflective, and strategic time, perfect for mapping out plans for the future. To push forward with plans and decisions while you have the Sun in a weak position in the chart would be out of sync with the universe. It's a great time to think, so wait a bit before you act.
Adding to this theme is Mercury retrograde, making things go slowly anyway. Mercury is the planet ruling buying and selling, communicating and negotiating, transporting and shipping, and electronics and machines. All these areas go haywire when Mercury is out of phase, as it is now, and is prone to do four times a year for three-and-a-half week period. Trying to get an agreement would be very difficult now, and so much easier to get later after Mercury goes direct on October 15. Things will improve further when Mercury's whirling static slows down, October 20.
You are not known to be patient, however, and with Mars barreling into Scorpio for the first time in two years on October 4, and planning to stay until November 15, you'll be biting at the bit and ready to tear out of the gate. For sure, Mars will make you feel like madly rushing forward, but to do that when the other planets aren't cooperating is to invite even more frustration. Sometimes we are forced by others to respond. In those cases, drag things out as much as you can.
Once you get to October 20, you'll be relieved to see things begin to click easily into place. People will seem more focused and on point, as well as more serious about building workable alliances with you.
While you await planets to move into strong positions, October is a good month to focus on health issues. At the start of the month, you may go to see your doctor for your yearly checkup and your dentist for a semi-annual cleaning.
Your twelfth house will be lit in October's first ten days, so at that time you can also opt for psychological advice or coaching, perhaps to get over a fear or to end a destructive habit.
The full moon on October 14 will also bring a work-related project to a big conclusion and you will be working hard to meet the deadline. This date falls on a Tuesday, so the full moon will be exerting a strong flow all week, until Friday - you will probably be working at a heightened level. When you get home, you'll want to rest. Keep your social schedule light - you won't have time for much else this week.
You may be working on a creative idea, for Neptune will be so sweetly angled to the Sun and moon. If so, great - it should go well and you'll be applauded for the spin you give to your assignment. The more enterprising and adventurous your idea happens to be, the better, for the full moon will be in Aries.
So crazed might you be at the office, if you've never liked your job, you may be tempted to quit and change jobs near October 14. That wouldn't be a wise idea - you are likely to jump into a job with many of the same problems. Also your new job would be on a par with this one, not a step up. In other words, you'd be making a lateral move - who needs that? February 2009's eclipses will help you find a better position if you need one and hadn't already moved jobs last August. Sit tight. Better things are due.
Once you get to the new moon in Scorpio on October 28, you'll be feeling your oats. All your plans will take flight and at long last, everything will be right with the world. This will be one of the most important new moons of 2008 for you, for you can direct its energy to any part of your life you choose. This is your annual birthday gift, for all other new moons have to be used in a very specific way. Know that the time to act is on or just after a new moon, so if you have something important, save it for this point in the month to launch.
Romantically, you've got it made. Venus will be at your side in Scorpio from October 1-10 and Mars will be in Scorpio too, from October 4 to November 15. You, dear Scorpio, have been given the most alluring, enviable aspects of all the signs. Everyone wishes they were you!
Your first weekend that you need to be out and about will be October 4-5 when Venus and Jupiter will be at ideal angles. If you need to take a short trip to a nearby city or town, all the better - great fun will result.
If you are single, your best day of the month is likely to be Friday, October 10, or Saturday, October 11. The moon will be in Pisces, and Venus will be flirting up a storm with Uranus. This is a day for you to meet someone new, just when you least expect to do so! This weekend deserves special attention!
Another glittering weekend, also for travel, would be October 25-26, and if you like, add Monday, October 27. Mars and Jupiter will be beaming one another for you, and any trip you take is likely to be a standout.
The month ends on a simply fantastic note. Halloween is a favorite holiday, and it comes at birthday time each year, but this year this fun holiday is so perfectly blessed that it will be far more interesting, exciting, fun, and lively than any in recent memory! Throw a costume party! With Mars and Uranus so perfectly aligned, you have the makings of a party to end all parties!
Your best romantic dates: October 4-5 (travel), 10-1, 19, 25-27 (travel), and 31 (gold star).
Summary
With Mars in Scorpio, you've become a force of nature. You've got energy to burn and are raring to go! Under normal circumstances, you'd have the green light to run with plans, for having Mars in Scorpio is always a time to show your determination, courage, and drive. Mars in your sign always brings an awesome advantage. It's been two years since you've had Mars' favor, so it's a key time to launch projects dear to you. But this month is not quite "normal" with Mercury in retrograde.
Before you jump in with both feet, you will need to check your plan thoroughly and to question your most basic assumptions. Time spent thinking in the first three weeks will be time well spent, for you can save yourself a lot of time and money if you do.
The atmosphere you are operating within is not as solid as you might suppose. Mercury is in retrograde, a holdover from September 23, and is not due to turn direct until October 15. You need to allow a few extra days beyond the end of the retrograde, because Mercury will still be troublesome until October 20. Be patient, dear Scorpio. Your golden period - thanks to Mars - will extend from October 20 to November 15. That's more than enough time to launch your dream and see it take flight.
Besides, the new moon in Scorpio, to arrive October 28, will be just made for you, dear Scorpio. Think of this new moon as your annual birthday gift to use in any way you please. We only get one "carte blanche" cosmic moment each year - this one will be yours! Act assertively from this day on, and you'll see your plans shape up so speedily before your eyes it will be like watching time-lapse photography!
As you see, the longer you wait in October to make your big initiative, the better! If you can wait until October 28, then do, because by then all the right planetary energy will be in place to support you all the way. You will have until November 12 to get things going. You don't have to actually see the fruition of your dream at month's end, but you do have to launch it for best results. Some endeavors take weeks or even years to finalize, but if you begin October 28, you'll be glad you did!
The full moon, October 14, may find you a bit tired, perhaps because your work at the office will be very demanding at that time. There is plenty of indication that you'll feel like Lucille Ball in the chocolate factory, as things will be crazy busy and the assembly line will keep on rolling. As you get closer to this date, fortify your body by eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep.
In matters of romance, the first ten days of October will be your favorites, for Venus will be in Scorpio all that time. As a Scorpio you may prefer to stay home much of the time, but in early October, make it a point to accept invitations. It will be so good for your state of mind to get out with others.
During October's first weekend, October 4-5, you can't miss, for Venus and fortunate Jupiter will be in constant communication to get the sparks flying for YOU. This is practically set to be a "can't fail" weekend!
If single, Venus and Uranus will bubble up delicious fun on October 10 or 11.
Halloween sounds like fun, too - with Mars in Scorpio contacting Uranus in Pisces, you may want to give a party and enjoy the results! What a highly imaginative night is in store.
Key dates:
Your best romantic dates: October 4-5, 10-11, 19, 28-29, and 31.
Venus tours Scorpio: October 1-10.
Talk over a problem or fear with a professional counselor: October 1-10.
Protect health and get more rest: near October 14.
Your office will be insanely busy: October 10-16.
Mercury retrograde will delay your personal launch of any plan: October 1-15, but wait until October 20. Buy no electronics during the first three weeks. -
忘了去露营音乐节了.....
靠.
靠靠靠!
我的MAVIS我的张大叔我的许大叔我的老大叔哟喂.......TAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
音乐节!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!死熊猫你老年痴呆啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
平生不会相思，
才会相思，
便害相思。
身似浮云，
心如飞絮，
气若游丝。
空一缕余香在此，
盼千金游子何之，
症候来时，
正是何时？
灯半昏时，
月半明时。
----有耳非文 -
我被大段难过的情绪困扰却必须微笑。
我必须一刻不停地微笑。
我想说的是，我的视力已经越来越糟，有时候眼前的景象好像清晰度为负的相片，模糊地蒙在眼前。
我没有办法告诉任何人。有的人不会听，有的人不能听。
我想存钱买一台相机，胶卷的。我要照很多很多的你，因为我害怕有一天我会看不见了。
那个时候，至少还有一大叠让我感到安心的厚度。
我爱你。
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今天终于考完了。天知道我怎么会把先考英语记成先考文综……=。=
熊猫你怎么不去死……妈的…记性给狗吃啦……TAT这下又要被小花拖进办公室去P跨老……啊~
我想纪念一些东西，可惜我没有纪念的勇气，因为我不知道你是不是和我一样偶尔也会想起。
921，921，世上再无21。
365，祝我们快乐。今年是我们分离的第372天。现在属于我的纪念日变成了23，只是往后推了两天而已，我们身边却已经再不是对方。
我对面的位置曾经属于你，你的对面曾经只有我一个人，即使心酸，我也已经知足。我想我真的长大了，我已经很少很少情绪失控地哭闹，大部分时间嘴角都挂着笑。
你在哪里？
我和她已经快要一年了。你会渐渐被时间埋葬，一年一年慢慢覆盖住那些回忆，一年一年慢慢杀死它们。我舍不得让它们模糊不清。
有天晚上做梦，梦见你一直缠着我，问一个我不想要回答的问题。我不想要回答你，于是坐车逃跑。车很快地，朝你家那个方向开去。
梦里的你穿着蓝色格子的衬衫，脸上是孩子一样委屈的表情。你在车外面追，一边追一边怨恨地喊叫着。
为什么不回答我？
你叫我怎么回答？
醒来的时候心脏那里还是有点疼，好像一个锥子从一年前跑出来，钻着我的心。原来一年以前你骂过我滥货。上午的时候你说我爱你，下午的时候你骂我滥货。
我坐在桌子下面翻着过去的日记，突然眼睛里面都是泪。我骂过你些什么，你骂过我些什么？我们不是说好只对对方说我爱你的吗？
可惜最后的分别那么难看。那么难堪。
为什么梦里的你会和现实里曾经的我那样固执地不肯放手？
嘿。我长瘦了又胖了。我头发又短得要命了。我的脸越来越不像自己了。有时候取下眼镜，我能够真切地看到它的变化。
还是有婴儿肥，但是眼睛旁边长出眼线一样黑色的阴影。冷漠又戏谑。
也许有一天我会长成自己希望的样子。
我现在和她在一起，很安稳。她喜欢跟我说我们以后的生活，但是我却不肯回答。有时候在她身上可以看见你的影子。你也曾经像个孩子一样和我说，以后我们要在海边买一个大的老房子，我们要养一条萨摩耶，我们要环游世界……
我不敢答应，因为我怕自己再次失去。嘿，小白她像个孩子，笑起来的样子好像眼睛都变成好看的水晶。你笑起来的时候呢？好像温暖的阳光。
她是个孩子，常常像曾经的我一样哭。有时候我们吵架。她在电话那边哭得像个孩子，她不敢表露自己的悲伤，只好掐自己，抽烟，闷着哭。
于是我过去看她，或者她过来看我。她真的好像个小孩，笑起来的时候那么好看。
为什么我们不肯再相信，为什么我们不肯再像从前一样勇敢认真地去爱一个人？
我很爱她，可是我已经越来越害怕。我想在十八岁那天去文身，在肩膀上文一条金红色的鲤鱼，把她的名字藏在里面。
我还能够做什么，这是我能为她做的无能为力的爱。我给了你太多，导致现在我像个给不出压岁钱的长辈，在小孩温暖的笑容里窘迫地垂下眼睛。
如果没有遇见过你就好了。
如果没有遇见过我就好了。
你也是这么想的吧？
我现在坐在张斯雅曾经的教室，旁边的教室曾经坐着你。
可惜所有都只是曾经。
你买给我的风筝还放在电子琴上，它已经长出寂寞的灰。
杯子不再用，安静地发了霉。
戒指弄丢了，你的那枚呢？
我的耳洞又生病了。
嘿。
嘿。
我叫你嘿，好不好？
陈亦迅在唱歌。偶而想起你
自言自语
点点滴滴
幸福是个秘密
享受却不知情
谁夜里重播着旧黑白片
想起是我甚麽人生箴言
我都感激 已经很随心
今天重庆又下了小雨。你又没有带伞吧。嘿，再见。
别在意了，会过去的。
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亲爱的姐姐：
你睡了吗？
现在，你心里，想着什么呢？你有开心地微笑吗？新加坡冷不冷？你心里的伤口忘掉了吗？
亲爱的姐姐，今天，我做了一个决定。
也许应该是早就该做好的决定吧。
可是，在一年里黑夜里最长的一天，我才长大。
我想，我终于变成了自己曾经非常厌恶的，不认真也不善良的人。
姐姐。
其实，我不想这样的。我也想做个从里到外都很可爱的人，我也想对大家装可爱或者撒娇。但是我不能。所有的压力和难受只有我一个人勇敢地站出来勇敢地承受。
如果每个女生都有属于自己的颜色，我想，我应该是浅紫色的吧。那些粉红色的女生，会害羞，会脸红，会掉眼泪，会一直相信这个世界的美好。
可是，我除了会偷偷脸红偷偷害羞以外，更加敏感，更加纤细，更加脆弱。我会嫉妒，我会冲动……
我还会，很勇敢。
看马戏团表演的时候，大家会因为小丑跌倒而哈哈大笑，我却会难过得想掉眼泪。
是他们太残忍还是我太天真？
我是一只骄傲的猫。我不是那个需要大家保护的熊猫。我会伸出我的尖利的爪子去挠人，我会骄傲地不准任何人碰我。
如果不勇敢，也许我早就在十几年以前的冬天死在那个举目无亲的世界了。
姐姐。很奇怪的。只有你，不管离我多远，都能让我在想到你的那一瞬间马上安静下来。你的几乎每句话我都记得。我伤心的时候会变得不害怕。我会对自己说，嘿，你还有个姐姐。
只有你，是我唯一毫无保留相信的人。
亲爱的姐姐，我爱你。
你跟我聊电话的时候，新加坡那边的街道上是摩托车开过去的声音。你那边很安静，我的房间也很安静。
姐姐你喜欢笑，姐姐你叫我小朋友。姐姐你说话的声音很温暖。
你最后说，“你还有我……们啊”。
呵呵。
姐。
就算我什么都没有了，我还有你。
我还有一个最最亲爱的姐姐。
曾大西，亲爱的姐姐。我爱你。
我会乖，我会听话，我会勇敢，我会好好读书。我是你亲爱的熊猫宝宝。
